After months of hesitation, John and I went to the doctor to figure out why we haven't been able to conceive. People always ask us why we waited close to 2 years to check, and I really don't have an answer to that. We just assumed if God wanted it to happen, it would have happened, right? Maybe a little afraid to find out the results? Or maybe it's because Kaiser makes you jump through burning hoops of fire to see an infertility doctor?! Just straight up laziness on my part, I guess. All joking aside, we are excited and content with foster/adoption so we didn't really find the need to go. But with the 2 year mark approaching I was just so curious, I had to go!
So, after 12 vials of blood drawn, an ultrasound, HSG, $$$, and several other doctor consultation visits, the doctor figured out there is nothing medically stopping us from conceiving. According to the doctor, John's soldiers are great too! I joke with John all the time that my uterus is where his swimmers go to die! But nope, the doctor said everything is fine!
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| HSG test was my least favorite! |
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| A lovely shot of my uterus and fallopian tubes! I know, it just looks like a blob. |
So we are the 10%.
The doctor suggested that we go ahead with IUI also known as artificial insemination. An appointment was made ... but we cancelled. We decided to try for a while longer, the old fashioned, natural way! After a few more months, we will reconsider the IUI.
With Mother's Day approaching, I want to go back on that decision and go to the doctor, like ASAP! To be honest I am a tad bit sad. Sad that I am not able to celebrate Mother's Day as a mom yet. Last year, I was super duper sad so I guess I can say it's getting easier. But I am reminded of a blog post by John Piper's wife, Noel Piper, appropriately titled "When Mother's day isn't a celebration". I was so encouraged from the first two words, "God knows..."
In my dream world, the Park house would be bustling with noise from kids, adopted and biological. But in God's perfect plan, that is not what He has called for us at this time. So until then, we will continue to hold on to the hope that is in Christ, seeing that this time is a gift from God, and pray that God hears our cries and allows for me to celebrate Mother's Day as a mom, some day.
