Foster Update

I have plenty to say, many thoughts to share, advice to give, but at the end of the day, there's so much going on I don't have the time to write it down. I used to journal daily and I love going back and reading my thoughts. So here I am, summer breaking, and I thought I'd give it a go again.

John and I have plenty of things going on in our lives! We were officially certified as foster parents in November and we got our first placement call right after my birthday weekend.  Our social worker called us about a 6 year old boy that I will lovingly call Kid 1. Kid 1 was the youngest of 3 boys pulled from their home in the LA area. He was with us for 6 weeks. And, MAN, were those 6 weeks tough! He was dealing with his world being flipped turned upside, major anger issues, missing his mom and brothers, and he didn't know how to handle it. We loved him, set boundaries, created very specific house rules, gave him obtainable goals (with rewards), strict consequences, and tried to be as consistent as possible. He, like many other foster kids dealing with trauma, constantly peed his pants. Every. Single. Day And night. Sometimes, several times a day. Our entire house smelled of urine and it was driving us crazy! So we busted out the sticker chart and tried to re-potty train him. But surprisingly, if you were to meet him, you'd never think he had potty issues. You'd think "Man, this kid talks and walks like he's a grown man." He grew up too quickly with 2 teenage brothers and was so confident, outgoing, and street smart. But with us, he wanted to just watch cartoons, cuddle (with me), read Pete the Cat, and was terrified by the tiniest things! Especially Chuck E. Cheese. Man, he hated that mouse. He taught us so much about grace, patience, and loving unconditionally. And I don't think I've ever prayed that hard in my life! I was so emotionally drained, and his behavior so unpredictable, John and I just prayed that we would survive one day at a time. Looking back on that time now I can confidently say that that was the hardest 6 weeks of my life. After he left, I decided that we shouldn't take another placement for a while. I thought we needed several months to recuperate, but that changed a few weeks later.

In January, we got a call for Kid 2. A sweet 4 year old that was removed from her home where she lived with her mother, and mother's boyfriend. She, like Kid 1, was dropped off at night, and walked right into our house like she owned the placed. She was curious, opinionated, very verbal, and super sassy! Surprisingly, she attached to me pretty quickly so everyday was filled with hugs, kisses, and tons of snuggle sessions. Like Kid 1, the trauma of being put in a stranger's home may have been too much to handle.  Kid 2 peed and pooped in her pants almost everyday. Potty training all over again! But with her, she was very embarrassed and apologetic. She would always ask us, "Are you mad at me when I pee my pants?" In my head I'm screaming "YES! WE RAN THE WASH A GAZILLION TIMES." -  but then I'd realize that's what we signed up for. We signed up to lovingly serve these kids and point to Christ in everything we do.  Washing clothes several times a day isn't the end of the world. We loved her and served her the best we could and 4 weeks after moving in with us, she went to live with her aunt.  The night before she left, she cried because she was going to miss us. She sobbed in her bed and asked us again and again why she had to move. The following day, I made sure not to cry in front of her, but as she drove off I sobbed like a baby. It was so hard saying goodbye to her I told John, "I can't do this anymore!" We told our social worker we weren't ready for another placement and took time to grieve.

We didn't agree to another placement for 2 months or so. In May, we got a call for 2 girls, sisters ages 7 and 3. Kid 3 and Kid 4. Their youngest sister was placed in a different home. These 2 girls were the sweetest, most well behaved girls! Having these two girls was easier than one Kid 1 or one Kid 2! They bickered like sisters do, but they also loved like sisters do! Like Kid 2, they attached to me pretty quickly and wanted to cuddle all the time. They missed their mommy but they knew that John and I were here to take care of them for a while. I was told that these girls would maybe with us for longer than our other placements, maybe even up to a year. So I mentally began to prepare myself for a year with 2 girls. Well, if I learned anything in the past few months, is that you have to be flexible because everything is so unpredictable when fostering kids. John's favorite thing to say is, "The only thing that is predictable about the foster care system, is that it is unpredictable." Three weeks into their stay, Kid 3 went for what I thought was just a routine court hearing. Court transportation usually calls around drop off time to confirm drop off location, but oddly I never received a call for drop off that day. After placing a few calls, I find out that their cousin was granted custody that very day, and Kid 3 was released straight from court to her family members. By this time I'm crying tears of frustration, trying to explain to Johnny that we have to pick up Kid 4 from preschool, pack up all their belongings, and meet the family in a parking lot to say bye. At that moment I felt so unappreciated by the courts. We loved these girls. We fed them, bathed them, hugged them, prayed with them, held them as they cried for their mom. Yet, you don't even allow us a chance to pack up their personal belongings together or have time to say a proper good bye? I cried so much that day, and as usual told John, "I can't do this anymore!"

Well, here we are in July and we have our 4th placement.  But this placement is super special! We have Kid 2 back in our home! Her aunt was unable to care for her for 2 months while mom gets her life together, so she's back with us. She has matured so much over the past 5 months and we aren't dealing with some of the behaviors and potty issues we had the first time around. She is still super sassy and opinionated, but tries her best to be obedient. We are hoping and praying that at the August court day she will be reunified with mom!

So that's it! That is our foster story up to now. In the future, I hope to write about our experiences and  some advice for soon to be foster parents on topics like what to expect on the first night, or how to handle visitations with bio family, or how we handle meal time. Hopefully it can help soon to be foster families or inspire someone to become a foster parent!

Speaking of which, if you are interested in becoming a foster parent, you can go straight through LA county. Or use an agency like us! We work with Koinonia Family Services, and they have branches all over California.

cousin love

This blog entry is long overdue. I can't believe summer is already over, and the new school year is going onto day 7!  Looking back on my pictures and realized I never blogged about having my cousin in town.

My dear cousin came from Korea to study at Berkeley for the summer session. She was able to come play in LA for the 4th of July weekend and experience a good ol' American 4th of July.  Her vacation was sandwiched by the baby sisters knee surgery and older sister's delivery date. We had to make some adjustments to our plans to accommodate those two, but we still had some major fun.

We picked her up from LAX and went straight to In 'n Out. Oh yeah! After a late lunch, we went to visit our grammy's burial site. It was her first time there, and for us, we just love just chillin' on the grass. And of course, we had to have a photo sesh.

The next day, we went out to the Santa Monica area and did some major eating (again), and she got to do some major shopping.

 

 

   
 

The day after that, we ventured out to the Getty sans momma. She was majorly tired by day 3. But the pregnant lady, and crutches girl trekked on! We had a low key picnic with (brown rice) kimbap, made by the momma, in the Getty garden.

 

 

I love spending time with my family. So bummed she couldn't stay longer. Miss her so much!  Love you, Sujin! Come back!!!!!

family game night

With the busy-ness of life, the blog has taken a bit of a hiatus.  What have I been up to? So much I can't even remember!  One thing I do remember, however... our first family game night!  A friendly (read super competitive) game of Cranium.

 

Guess who won?! The Parks! We won a trophy and bragging rights. We were SO excited, jumping up and down, you'd think we won the Olympics.

We are ultimate nerds and had so much fun. We sisters plan to make this a monthly ordeal; gives us a chance to hang out and be awesome at winning.

Anyone else do game nights?! Or is this ultimate dorky stuff only for nerds like us?

so much to be thankful for

It has been a rough couple of months, but I know I have so much to be thankful for.  I know I should be thankful everyday because of God's amazing mercy to give me breath every morning, but my sinful cranky heart isn't.

A national holiday was a great way to remind me that I have so much to be thankful for and remind myself that I easily forget about God's daily gifts - my husband, sisters and bros, nieces and nephews, momma, church family, and friends.

My family started the Thanksgiving festivities on Wednesday night with Korean snacks, Korean rice wine, and The Proposal (again)!

Then everyone slept over and we all woke up and had breakfast together. Which included waffles made by the lil sis.

Then the "boys" sat around and watched football...

Snacked all day, then had a way early dinner at 3:00!

 
It was our first time hosting a family dinner! We had so much fun and John and I are so glad to be living in "la mansion" where we actually have space to hang out! We're also hosting Christmas dinner! Excited!

We really did have fun! My sisters and bro hung out alllll day and we watched movies and seriously ate so much! 'Twas a great Thanksgiving.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving too!

happy new year!

The hubz and I said goodbye to 2011 with a movie marathon in our pj's at home. We said hello to 2012 by going to sleep! It's so much harder staying up as you get older, no?! Johnny and I were tired even before 10 pm, it's pretty amazing that we stayed up til midnight.

New Year's Day was spent with our new church family for our Sunday morning gathering. From there, we had to jet off to the mountain to go see my in-laws, where my MIL prepared the Korean traditional new year celebratory food, dduk gook. Yum! We couldn't stay there too long because we had to go to our next stop - my uncles house.

I don't get to see my extended very often, but New Year's Day seems to be a pretty big deal for our family. I got to see my little cousins... I guess, not so little anymore since they all look older than me now!

We sae bae (or bow) to my uncles and aunts to show respect and wish them lots of good and new fortune. As kids, we were given some words of wisdom and then some casholla! Now that I'm "older and married" no more cash. :(

My momma with 2 of her brothers.

Then, off to grandma's house! This year, we didn't get to see my dad's side of the family, but of course we had to see my grandma! We picked her up, then off to get a late night snack!

Our family spent the rest of the night playing a traditional Korean game, that's usually played on New Year's Day called yootnori. My mom was going nuts and I think it scared the hubz a lil bit, to be honest. She was seriously having the time of her life.

My older sister cleaned us out and won both tournament style games. Next year, IT'S ON! I'm gonna have to practice throwing the sticks in the air!

While playing this game til midnight with my family, I realized that I missed my other grandma. She really loved this game. My mom shared with us yesterday as we were playing that she remembers being a little girl in Korea and watching her mom (a.k.a., my grandma) playing this game with all her aunts and uncles into the wee hours of the night.

It was a busy day for us, but I spent it the perfect way. With my church family, with my in-law family, and my extended family. A great, great, great way to start 2012.

새해 복 많이 받으세요 - (Sae hae bok, mah he bad duh sae yo). - Just in case you want to impress someone with your Korean skillz.

a lil more christmas fun

My older sis and bro-in-law were nice enough to host Christmas dinner at their house this year. We ate lots (despite the fact that we couldn't think of a menu until 2 pm that day), opened gifts, and watched the Proposal for the umpteenth time.

Food coma, much?

My sisters and I have different styles but we have some similar pieces. I finally joined their gold watch club when they gifted me a watch for my birthday!

Not only did we hang out and have a jolly ol' time, my sisters also made a business deal! The lil one bought the big one's car! Sealed with a handshake.

My family. <3

family night

Every year, John and I drive out to a small neighborhood in Torrance to see the crazy Christmas lights! We've been going together since we were "just friends" and this year we thought it'd be something the whole family could enjoy.

For years I thought it was called Candy Cane Lane, but just found out this year that it's called Sleepy Hollow! Doesn't that sound like a creepy name for a such a fun festive place?! Whatever. It's like Candy Cane Lane's little brother. If you're in the South Bay area, you've gotta check it out!

Everyone is walking around, people are selling popcorn and other goodies, there's Christmas music playing, it's just awesomeness for 2 or 3 blocks. Since we were all piled in my mom's SUV, we cruised down the street, took a few photos, and off we went for our continued search for Rite Aid's or Thrifty peppermint ice cream.

NO JOKE, it is the best ice cream in zee world. Thrifty peppermint ice cream is not like any other peppermint ice cream! All other brands flavor the ice cream with peppermint extract and the ice cream is unnaturally pink. But not Thrifty! It is seriously a ten.

Totally sad that not a single Rite Aid in my area has it. So I had to stick with the second best ice cream flavor, cookies and cream!

When my bro-in-law told us that he has NEVER EVER tried Thrifty ice cream, all our jaws dropped! $1.69 ice cream and he's never tried it?! Straight up crazy!

'Twas a fun night with the family. AND my search for Thrifty peppermint ice cream continues!

lil sister's nurse/slave

HELLO! Yes. I am still alive. It's been a crazy couple of days and I've been major M.I.A. from the blog world.

I had an amazing birthday with celebrations starting at work with amazing coworkers, awesome kids, and then a nice sweet dinner with the hubby. Turning 29 ain't so bad after all!

The day I was supposed to celebrate with my family, my lil sister got in a major car accident. So since then, my entire family has been pretty busy being her slave. My family tries to take shifts so she isn't home alone and my shifts usually happen after work.

But in the case of yesterday, it started at the butt crack of dawn with a phone call at 6 AM from the sister asking for help to go to the bathroom. That's pretty normal, right? Unless you don't live in the same house! I had to just roll out of bed, drive a mile to my parents' house, half asleep, and help her out of bed for a quick trip to the bathroom. I felt like an on-call nurse!

Please keep my sister in your prayers as she has suffered a fracture in her sternum, a broken elbow, and now we find out, a perforated ear drum. Pray that I don't strangle her as she's now abusing my niceness by asking me to do her homework and paint her nails. Great.

John was nice enough to lend her his flannel. What a nice hubby. :)

fostering adoption - chapter 1

Before John and I got married, we talked a lot about what we envisioned for the future, with regards to our family. We both agreed we wanted a lot of kids! John always said he wanted 5 kids and I never thought of a number, but coming from a family of 3 girls, I knew I wanted at least 3 kids. It just makes life fun.

On top of that, ever since I was in college, I wanted to adopt a baby from Korea! And so, when John told me that he was really interested in adoption too, I thought, "Perfect! We'll get married, have our 'own' kids, and then adopt in the future!" This was our master plan.

But, in His love and kindness, God began to patiently peel our fingers back from what we held on to so tightly, so that we would hold on to what was better - Himself. There are many times when the possibility of not being able to have our own biological children is extremely hard, for sure.

But, by God's grace, we are beginning to see that "ALL things" really do work out for those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). And though we don't know if this is the purpose that God had in mind, we're excited to announce that we've begun looking into the adoption process now!

We got the ball rolling a few Saturdays ago when we went to our first informational meeting with an agency called the Children's Bureau. We're still looking into this particular non-prof, but so far, from what we see, it's great!

Stay tuned as, God-willing, we'll continue to document our adventure in fostering/adopting (the highs and the lows). Please pray for us!

happy birthday to my momma

My mom tracks her birthday by the lunar calendar so her actual date of birth changes yearly on the calendar we use now. Confusing, I know. Every year I have to ask my older sister when it is. This year it fell on September 17th. To celebrate, we went out for some duck! Yummerz!

My mom's birthday is always the day after Choseuk, a huge holiday in Korea that celebrates a great harvest. It's like our version of Thanksgiving. So to celebrate we not only had cake, we had some traditional Korean rice cake things called dduk. This was a super fancy box. I've only seen dduk like this in Korea!

My older sister's birthday is at the end of this month but she'll be celebarting with her hubz in New York so we combined their birthday song and celebrated both of them!

Wow. They look like twinsies!

Happy birthday to my amazingly young lookin' momma!

family lunch with the parks

Ever since we left Grace Fellowship Church, we don't get to see the Parks (my in-laws) very often. I know many don't get along with their in-laws, or don't feel comfortable around their in-laws, but I'm super blessed to have an amazing MIL! It kind of, sort of, helps that my mom and John's mom have been bff's for years. Growing up, the moms would hang out while John, his bro, me and my sisters would be forced to hang out. So annoying. Just kidding!

Two Sundays ago, the family got together for lunch! John was most excited about seeing our niece, Emma. John is obsessed with Emma. Seriously. Obsessed. He loves his niece like crazy! But who wouldn't love her?! She's adorable!

A family meal time turned into an Emma photo session!

First off, anyone love Spongebob? These kids sure do. HAHA!

Isn't she the cutest thing you ever did see? We can't wait to meet her lil bro or lil sister in February... it'll give John someone else to smother! :)

kim, carrier, park vacation

Our first family vacation with the (new) husbands! Thanks to my bro-in-law, we stayed at an amazing house out in La Quinta for the weekend. It was so nice to just chill, swim, eat tons, and work on my (non existent) tan!

Of course, our traveling friend, Gnomie joined in on the fun! See if you can spot him in some of the pictures below.

My mom gets awful motion sickness when sitting as a passenger (even in 2 minute drives down the street). So she has to drive everywhere. My dad is a major pro at sitting in the passenger seat; we grew up with our mom driving us everywhere, even the longs drives to a different state.

Gardena to La Quinta isn't very far, but when my mom's driving, it feel likes a life time! Oh my gahhhh! But, we knew we were getting closer to our final destination when the temperature started to rise and we were passing the solar fans in Palm Springs.

This sums up my weekend. I am slightly darker, but it doesn't look like I got any darker when I stand next to the younger sis. It's insane how dark she is. (I spy bro-in-law lounging in the background.)

Just some breakfast items... When we were little girls, my mom would cut up our apples into "rabbits". I said that in passing as she was washing the fruit, and she cut them up just like she used to do when we were in elementary school!

Mimosas! Yum. Yum. Yum.

Even though I was outside quite a bit, John and I spent a lot of time indoors. We would choose to stay inside and hang out rather than be active and adventurous any day! Another reason we are perfect for each other. We're boring. And we love it!

We stayed indoors and played lots of speed scrabble! I like playing scrabble. I LOVE playing speed scrabble.

Totally opposite from me, my sisters love being outdoors. I don't understand how we all came out of the same womb and we're so different. Our family vacations over the years have become quite stressful for me because they want to do everything and anything outdoors... I, other hand, would rather stay in and read. Now that I have Johnny, we both can be Lazy Mclazy to-geh-zer. I like having a chilling partner. :)

We, of course, had to have some Korean BBQ, or as Koreans call, just BBQ. Call me crazy, but I'm not a big fan of kalbi. Gasp. I know.

Last day in La Quinta started with a family breakfast (way too early for me), then to a small church John found for time to hear God's word.

The rest of the day was spent watching the women's World Cup Finals. What an amazing win for Japan!

Seesters. Love them, but sometimes you wanna just punch 'em in the face, ya know what I mean?!


I forgot to pack my gorillapod. BOOO!!! This is what happens when you try to balance a slim camera on a car roof....

...you get a horribly positioned family picture. Everything about this photo is just off! But, oddly, I like it! It was WAY too hot to stand out there and try to get another one.

Oh, how I love summer!