Wednesday, July 27, 2011

'tis so sweet

I got a chance to sit and chat with a girlfriend of mine. She, too, is having difficulty getting pregnant. I see and understand her struggles and I can't help but be saddened. There are so many couples, like Johnny and me, that are praying and longing for kids, but for reasons only God knows, it's just not happening.

Johnny and I are now in our 15th month trying to conceive and its hard not to be discouraged and saddened each time there is a glaring negative sign on the pregnancy test. Many tears have been shed in frustration and sadness. But in the midst of all this sadness we know that this is our gift from God.

This gift has increasingly pushed us out of our sinful, self-reliance and into trusting Him more and more. He is teaching us to trust in His sovereignty and to have hope in Him alone - a hope that, because of the resurrection, there is a day coming when all will be as God intended it with no more pain, no more struggles, no more heartache.

John and I continue to pray that we will be able to "be fruitful and multiply" - whether that be through natural birth or adoption. But until then, in the words of our Lord, "... not my will, but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42).

Here's an old hymn called 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus that we recently came across that's been another gift that God has given us to remind us of His faithfulness.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise, and to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him! How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust him more!

I'm so glad I learned to trust thee, precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and I know that thou art with me, wilt be with me to the end.


  1. thank you, linda! i needed to hear these words today. especially today. :) currently going through a tough time in marriage (a situation in which one never expects to happen). but nonetheless, i am encouraged by this hymn. i've always loved it.

    continuing to keep you and johnny (and a future little one- biological or adopted) in prayer! :)

  2. My husband and I are trying too. We are only on our 7 month though. I have endometriosis so there is a chance I might not able to. I get a test done tomorrow to see if it is possible or not. If not, we will be saddened a little but we are open to adoption.

    And yes, people say all the time to me "its because you are thinking about it too much" - well yes and no - I think about every time it's a not pregnant or I get my period.
    That's when I take a big sigh - and say not this time try again.

    I hope you get your miracle some time.

    I suppose when my body is ready and when life hands me the right cards that's when it will happen. Hoping and wanting is tough, especially when you see others just easily get pregnant.

  3. My heart and prayers are for you. My husband and I had a miscarriage with our first pregnancy very early in our marriage and I remember the heartbreak for the few months afterwards when each pregnancy test came back negative. I will continue to pray for you guys that you'll be blessed with many children! Your trust in the Lord is amazing and I know He will honor it.

  4. I found your blog via cakies... I just wanted to say that it took my husband and I nearly 3 (very long) years to conceive. I had endless tests and nothing was ever conclusive and just as we were about to try medication I finally fell pregnant. We are now blessed with three beautiful children. I will never forget though that testing time - each month was disheartening and depressing. It was difficult to see others falling pregnant (seemingly) so easily. But I am now grateful for that period of time - that time of yearning, craving, waiting and praying has really made me grateful for what I have today. I wouldn't change it for anything.


    our story is in the process of being written out... :) blessings to you!

  6. My prayers are with you too today as you live through each rollercoaster day and week and month. It's mindboggling to me- how recurring this story is. I, too, went through this for 5 years. It was constantly on my mind and heart. I can't say I treasure that time, but I know that I ran into God's big hands and tried to dwell there day by day. My only advice is to decide where it is right for you to stop...where you feel like you've tried enough things and where you will move on. It will be a different place for each couple, but it will feel right for you. I'm sure you know- but I know first hand that adoption is just as wonderful and teaches you and those around you so much about our own adoption into the family of God. Hope this doesn't sound too trite or preachy, bc I know that's the last thing you need after pouring your heart out. I had other dreams too.

  7. Okay, this post had me in tears, and then sobbing by the end.... ;) Thanks for opening up, sharing your heart and being so vulnerable. I know you've processed all this, prayed, and praise God we can turn to him and trust in such a loving God. I know we talked briefly about it at the cake party but seriously Lin, your journey is really such a testimony to the sovereignty of God. Your journey really had made me realize IT'S TOTALLY IN HIS TIMING! whoa. His ways are not ours, but in the mean time I'll be praying for peace, wisdom, and strength for you and John until that baby happens!! Love you!

  8. My husband and I found out we were pregnant 8 months into our marriage. We lost the baby before the third trimester. We tried to have another for years. I saw everyone I knew get pregnant, it was heartbreaking. Tests said neither of us had a problem, yet, no baby. The next step was adoption and just before those steps happened...we got our son.

    We now have three!!!

    Take courage, believe in him, you will be a mom one day. I will keep you in my prayers. All Moms are a gift from God, biologically or adopted.

    That is one of my favorite hymns.

  9. It took us 14 months to conceive after wanting a baby for so long. I look back now and see even though those where the toughest months of my life and marriage it has only made me and us stronger. There is nothing better than God's timing. As hard as that is to hear. It looks like you are keeping your trust in the Lord and that is what matters. I will pray for you because waiting to conceive is the hardest thing I have been through to date.

  10. I also found your blog via cakies today and can relate so well to what you've shared... we tried for 3 years and then suffered through 4 miscarriages. It was devastating and one of the hardest things to have so out of our hands. But now we have been blessed with 3 little ones and that suffering has made being a parent so much sweeter. Hang in there!

  11. Thank you so much, everybody! These words were so encouraging to me - and I'm sure, for anybody else who might've come across these comments.

  12. i also found your blog through ruby's blog.. (also, i helped esther with your sister esther's wedding in feb!).. anyway, my hubs and i have been trying to conceive.. and we were pregnant but lost the baby at the end of the 1st trimester... :( but yea, all we can do is trust in the Lord and his perfect timing.. :)

  13. found your blog via cakies, and it takes much courage to share the hardships and challenges you and your husband are going through. my husband & I also took awhile to get pregnant, and I can remember that the stress of it all was making it worse. i remember my husband telling me that if that is a desire in our hearts, then let God do the rest. And now God has blessed us with two beautiful girls! If God has "birthed" it in your hearts to have children, then allow Him to "deliver" through. God is faithful to answer. My prayers are with you and your husband.


  14. Were going on 3.5 years of trying and my heart aches as yours does. I share your pain and only hope the best for us both.

  15. sweet linda, i am praying so hard for you! i know this is so hard, but God is just using this to pull you closer to Him. Just spend this time dwelling in Gods presence. I was reading in my daily reading of oswalt chambers "my utmost for his highest" and this really reminds me of you. as a summary of what he said:
    "what is my vision of God's purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and His power *now*. If i can stay calm,faithful, and unconfused wile in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish- His purpose is the process itself." Later he says,"It's the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God...what people call prep, God sees as the goal itself......if we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However,if we realize that moment to moment obedience is goal, then each moment becomes precious."
    He was talking about life in general. But this is so comforting to me. and it reminds me *how* important each day is. Just dwell in today. His will is being done today. Focus on these precious moments--even if theyre so so tough. im just so glad you know our wonderful savior and can fall into his arms and rest in His peace. God is doing amazing things in you *today*!!!

  16. I read this post today and could not stop thinking about so had to come back to say that I am sorry you are going through this, it is hard to understand God's will sometimes but just knowing He is leading even when we can't make sense of things is reassuring.

    "Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again"

    All the very best xx

  17. great snapshots.. i wish i lived in so cal. this workshop sounded like so much fun <3